The new year hasn't really lessened the blow from the Coronavirus pandemic and it's unfortunate that people are still losing their lives. I'm just glad we have a new president in office and a lot of the stress from the past one is starting to die down. I'm not political, I just don't like all the negativity that was the result of the last one in office. It seemed to just bring out the worst in people. We live in a "blue" state here in Oregon, but we live in a very "red" county. We've seen a lot of things the last two years that were unbelievable. Being yelled at while walking into a grocery store that we are sheep for wearing a mask is just beyond ridiculous. There's people protesting over things they can't control, and then there's people holding signs that the election was stolen. It's almost too much. My anxiety has been getting better, but leaving the house is becoming more of an irritation than anything else. I've started using more online services for things just so I don't have to see these people standing around screaming. Hopefully, it all dies down sooner than later. On a positive, we saw a beautiful skyline again, and received a few of our subscription boxes, so we had a good week otherwise. I got my heart monitor removed and sent in for analyses. Looking forward to seeing the results from that soon. Here are five things this week.
1. These Lights.
An ambulance was called for a neighbor down the street, not sure why, but the lights lit up the bedroom. Jeff said that they were okay otherwise, but the lights seemed so bright in the middle of the night while they leaked through the curtains.
2. These Boxes.
I received the Laura Mercier box from Influenster to try for free. I love this brand and the blemish stick is amazing! The one to the right is from Mighty Nest and the razor was the Mighty Fix and the reusable garbage bag and sustainable toilet brush was the add on. Looking forward to changing out our long-used Preserve Razor handle for the new one. The green one we've used for about five years now. These razors last a long time and can be recycled into new razor handles after you're done with them.
Another Influenster free gift to try. We having used Velveeta in such a long time, so it was nice to receive this for free and make some cheese dip with it. I forget how great Velveeta taste and we used it for a "cheat" day meal. It was delicious!
This is the Cairn box for December. With the Coronavirus pandemic, it was backed up with shipping and we received it this week with the January box below.
This was the Mully box for January and Jeff loves this box. They really have great items in their boxes each month. If you're into golf this is definitely the box to try.
This is January's Cairn box. If you're into camping, hiking, or even just some outdoors time, give this one a go.
3. This Sunset.
Amazing sunsets this week. This one was glowing pink and red and was impossible to miss.
4. This Syrup.
It's one of my favorite things from IKEA and I love that they've gone more eco-friendly with the packaging. If you haven't tried this, you're missing out. It's delicious and it's alcohol-free.
5. This Spider.
Most people flip out over spiders in their house and most of the time we catch them and put them back outside, but this one is allowed to stay. It's has a web spun around the nightlight and I can't bring myself to destroy it. For now it can stay. Spiders don't live that long and I hope it hangs out for awhile. It's quite interesting to look at.
Our latest podcast episode is out. Check it out at the podcast page at the top of this blog. It's a good one, too!
Positive affirmations this week: I love this quote. If you bring negative energy into our home you will be asked to leave. You can pick this sign up here.
Still enjoying the downtime and selfcare from the last year. We've been working on more time at home and focusing on what's important. The day I came home from the hospital wasn't great. Abuse is something that I am still trying to recover from through my childhood and at times, the abusers don't seem to grasp the concept that I need to avoid them. There are times were I question my own reactions and responses to the abuse, but at the time I did the best I could with what I knew. I wish I could go back and give my younger self a hug and tell her it's okay, it's going to be okay, and you'll turn out okay. I think things would have been better for me if I had just one person in my life then to tell me that they believe in me and they support me. The phrase of, "The abused becomes the abuser" isn't true. We are all responsible for our own choices in life and at times the abuser doesn't want to see others abused the same why they were. This week has been rough. I have a heart monitor on to record my high levels of anxiety and figure out the triggers, but I already know the triggers, and right now I am avoiding them and focusing on me. Some may say that's selfish, but you wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg to walk it off. Hopefully the coming days will be less triggering and the people that cause it take a hard look at themselves and realize you can't live your life like you are and still consider me part of it. Here are five things this week.
1. This Tree.
Our city's Christmas tree this year. There wasn't a tree-lighting "ceremony" this year because of the pandemic, we never go anyway, but we took a few minutes one night and took some shots of it. The last storm took out the top of the tree and it was a bit shorter than in previous years, but it was still pretty against the park background.
2.This Chocolate.
We've been switching our foods over to more USDA organic options and one of the options I've been enjoying is how good organic chocolate tastes. This snowman was in my stocking from "Santa Claus" and it was delicious. I've also found a great online store that offers a great selection of organic treats and vegan options. Check them out here!
3. This Kitty.
Whoever tossed this cat out is an idiot. She's been such a great cat. She turned four on December 11 and her personality is coming around. She literally has such a great demeanor to her and I love that she likes me.
4. This House.
Another Christmas gift of mine. It's a small greenhouse and I've had my eye on it for awhile. It was supposed to be a Mother's Day gift for me, but at the time that Skylar and Jeff went to get it they were sold out. So, it's technically a Mother's Day/Christmas gift, but either way, I love it. I spent New Year's Day putting it together and it was well worth it. You can get one here.
5. This Light.
This was another one of my Christmas gifts and I love it because it reminds me again of Meia. I use this light at night to look for things on my nightstand instead of turning the big light on. I just love it. I want to glue some small felt ears to the top to make it even more realistic for me. You can get one here.
Our latest podcast episode is out. Check it out at the page link above this blog.
Positive affirmations this week:"What's been empowering you lately?"
Being able to set boundaries with myself and distancing myself from those that don't build me up. 2021 is going to be the year of change for me. Changing how I associate with people. I've gotten to a point where I don't want to engage in people pleasing and negative energy. There is one thing I would like to say to these people (even blood relatives): You should learn to build others up and not tear them down. Here's to living my best life!
Happy New Year. Here we are; 2020 is over. That's worth celebrating, right? This past week has been overwhelming and we had to call an ambulance, yet again. My anxiety makes my heart feel like it's going to explode. The paramedics hooked me up to a heart monitor and told me that my heart rate is high, but not at critical levels. I now have a heart monitor placed on my chest for the next 14 days to monitor my anxiety and panic attacks. I've been getting lightheaded and nauseous and according to my doctor, this is all anxiety related. With my age I was worried it could be angina, and with both of my parents having heart issues and my grandmother dying of a heart-related issue, it does scare me. What annoys me the most is people that don't understand, tell me things to try. Like I haven't already tried them. I know they are just trying to help, but it gets annoying. Like, "What you need is a coloring book." A coloring book isn't going to help with past child abuse issues, PTSD, and trauma-related thoughts. Sure it helps calm the nerves, but when they are overwhelming, you need more than crayons. I've been placed on Lorazepam for when it's overwhelming and that's been taking the edge off. I've been in therapy, too. It's going well so far and hopefully, over time it helps. -sans coloring book. Here are five things this week.
1. This Pouch.
I got this little pouch for Christmas this year and I love it. One, it reminds me of Meia and two, it's perfect for a coin pouch, or lipstick pouch. I noticed it a few weeks before Christmas at our local food co-op and I was so thrilled that Jeff and Skylar got it for me.
We drove around looking at the Christmas lights this past week. Since the pandemic I feel people went all out this year on their lights. There were quite a lot of good displays around the cities.
4. These Moments.
After lots of testing and being placed on a heart monitor overnight, I was sent home with a heart monitor to keep track of anxiety spikes. All of it is just overwhelming. One thing that made me feel better was Skylar facetiming with me and putting Eleven on the screen. That kitty is attached to me and she was meowing looking for me through the house. She saw me on the screen and started licking it. Skylar is awesome and I am truly loved and it helps a great deal with my trauma issues knowing this.
5. This Test.
Just for fun we thought we take these drug tests. We found these at the local dollar store and wondered if they actually worked. Jeff and Skylar were negative, but mine showed two lines as well we I definitely have THC in my system. So, our conclusion is, we don't know if they work for being positive, but they definitely work for coming up negative.
Did you get a glimpse of the Cold Moon on December 30?
Positive affirmations this week: Reframe the way you think of things in your mind. My therapist recently told me to record a new message on the tape recorder that plays over and over in my head. So, instead of saying, "What if this happens," or "What if that happens," change it to "Since I always take precautions, it should be okay," or "Since I've done my best, there's nothing that will happen." It takes some time to change, but it does help with worrisome and anxious feelings. A lot of the things that play in my head are statements from my past. Statements from others that I'm not good enough and never will be, I'm ugly, I'm not enough, I'm not smart, I'm a failure, and I was even told by someone that they hate me. Unfortunately, a lot of these statements came from family and people that I should have trusted. I've come along way in the last couple of years by reversing that tape that plays with those statements. I've changed those statements to, I am good enough to the right people, I am beautiful, I am smart because I do things like X or Y better than most, I may fail, but I always get to try again, and lastly, being hated is an issue with that person and not me. Simple changes of these statements really are a great benefit to your mental health. Hopefully, this helps you, too.
It's been a long year and even longer month I feel like just waiting for 2020 to end. After Christmas we took a drive up to Portland to have dinner for the evening and spent some time driving around different areas in the city. It was strange to see the populated areas with hardly any people, but it was nice to see the city less busy. It was honestly a perfect setting for some podcast pictures and other spooky photos. But, I will say, Portland looks better without so many people around and less traffic.
Life at a "Swell's" pace is a lifestyle and travel blog chronicling the life and travels while living in Oregon's beautiful Willamette Valley. It is mostly written by Shelly HW. Click the image to learn more»
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