Hello.
I've spent most of the week in pain and sleeping. Not a lot has gone on with us lately. Jeff is still working full time hours, but he is worried that a furlough might happen at his job. He's been there almost 25 years, so he is hoping that his years there will save him from being laid off. He did say that a furlough is coming, but he doesn't know when. So, fingers crossed it's just workplace rumors. I'm not fully coherent on everything that Jeff and Skylar tell me, but I do take the time each day to read some in the books I bought, do a bit of anxiety breathing and calming myself, but mostly I'm just in a great amount of pain. I was put on one pain medication, but my tolerance is so low, that is was making me sick. The throwing up was hurting me so much, that my surgeon switched to a lower dose and a different kind. It's been a lot less dry-heaving and excruciating pain, so at least I can sleep. I also have been wearing the compression socks all day and all night because I just don't want to get up. It's a lot more pain than I expected, but I am strong and I can do this. Jeff has been telling me a lot about stuff going on in the state and around the town here. He said that President Trump signed a Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act today and that the governor of Oregon, Kate Brown, made mask-wearing mandatory in the state, and issues at "stay at home" order (quarantine). Jeff went to 7-11 here to grab a bag of ice, and the lady inside 7-11 told him to get out of their building wearing a mask. Jeff asked her what she was talking about and the lady told him, "No one is allowed inside 7-11 that has a mask on." Jeff told her, "Lady, the whole state is going to be wearing a mask, so you telling me to leave is not only rude, but also dumb." She told him that she didn't care what he thought and told him to either leave, or she would make him leave. Jeff and Skylar wear a mask in public right now, because of two reasons. One, I just had surgery and they don't want to take any risks with bringing anything inside the house, and two, because there's a pandemic and it's better to be safe than sorry. Our cases in the state are going up and the cases here in our county are way above where they should be. The lady at 7-11 is a good example of why our cases have gone up. I hope she changes her attitude soon and does her part, as a 7-11 employee, in keeping everyone, including herself, safe. Here are five things this week...
1. IKEA After Dark
Before my surgery we went to the IKEA After Dark event in Portland, Oregon, on February 22. It was a promotion with IKEA to have people check out their great selection of beds, bed frames, mattresses, bedding, and other items to help make your bedroom a cozy, relaxing, and inviting place. We had a lot of fun trying out the different stations they had set up for customers and we even left with a new mattress, bedding, bedside shelving, and a few other items. It was a lot of fun and the IKEA staff always makes things enjoyable. #IKEAAfterDark
2. This Shadow.
The view from the room I am recovering in, I can see the lower part of the stairs in our house. Skylar still has a lot of little boy in him and he has a train and small town layout on the landing of our stairs. Sometimes, when I wake up and need a pain medication, or a drink, I can hear him making car, train, and people noises. It brings me a lot of happiness to hear that. Our house is a calm and safe place and those sounds just bring me a great delight overall.
3. The Office.
I've been watching a lot of The Office, as well as other shows and movies, while I'm recovering. One of the episodes of The Office, Jim invites everyone to his apartment for a barbeque and gives them a tour of his place. He finds Pam in his room looking at his random things, and one thing caught my eye. The diagram on his wall. I went scouring the internet trying to find out what it means and the closest I found was a
Reddit post. I tend to agree with the commenter that it could mean:
The day / ((sex + water + love + food + alcohol - violence) over your dreams)) + wealth after bills and taxes = life
4. This Quote.
I grew up in a house where the word "normal" was used quite often as almost an insult. "Why can't you be more normal." "That's not how normal people act." Or, "You just aren't normal." I've grown to hate the word normal and anytime people use that word towards someone, or something, I always look at them and wonder why kind of childhood they had, too. There is no such thing as "normal." That might come as a shock, but it's true. Your "normal" isn't the way, and someone else's "normal" isn't the way, so therefore, "normal" doesn't exist. The one thing people can do is stop trying to push the view of "normal" on the world. Telling someone they aren't normal is rude, disrespectful, harmful, and a form of abuse. It makes people think that they aren't enough. Growing up hearing that, it caused a lot of harm in how I saw and valued myself. It's taken many years to erase that damage, and I am still working on some of it. So, just don't do it. Embrace change and the differences people bring into the world and stop boxing people into the falsehood of "normal."
5. Exhale.
A little reminder for anyone that needs it.
Positive affirmations this week: "How do you get out of a funk you're in?"
Listening to favorite music, wear a cute outfit to work, or classes, or go for a hike, or walk with a friend. They don't always work immediately, but they do over time.
Have a nice weekend.
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