Hello.
Happy Valentine's Day.
This day is kind of a bitter/sweet day for us. One, it's obviously the day of love and we have plenty to give, but it's also, just another day. I'm not really big on holidays much anymore as I get older, but it's always nice to acknowledge them, even just a little bit. Today I was going to make sugar cookie hearts, but I just didn't have the energy. My anxiety has been pretty bad the last couple of weeks and I am using all of my energy towards that. About a month away from my surgery, which has been set for March 19, and with never having major surgery before, I am worried. I've been walked through all of the process, but until it's over, I will still be on edge. I am also worried the Coronavirus pandemic might hinder my elective surgery, as well, but my surgeon/doctor says he doesn't think it will, but we are just going to ride it out and see where we are when it gets closer. I have used this week to create a list of foods and things I would like to have on hand after I come home. I also created an "end of life" list for Jeff and Skylar, just in case. I have OCD, too, so it helps me to know, before I go under, that they don't have to stress about anything, if something does happen. Jeff always smiles at me when it comes to things like that. He says, "You are the most unselfish person I know. Even in your moment of stress, and thinking you might not come through, you are still thinking of others." It makes me feel good that my good points are seen. But, we are hopeful there won't be any issues and I will have an easy recovery. I am pretty healthy overall, but it's always in the back of your head anytime, anyone, has major surgery, whether they say it out loud or not. That aside, here are five things to keep my mind distracted, that happened this week.
1. More Miles.
More miles logged this week. Trying to keep up a routine, when time allows. Getting more and more anxious about my surgery date, as stated above. Fingers crossed all goes well.
2. Day Trip.
Skylar and I took a quick day trip to the coast to eat lunch, and even though it was raining, it was a nice lunch with my boy. He and I are very close and moments like these are some of my favorites.
3. Selfie Filters.
Although the Playboy Bunny would not be my first choice is a filter, I do like how it makes my eye makeup look amazing and flawless. There's so many different filters on Instagram, and Skylar and I like to play around with them a lot.
4. CBD/THC.
Not a lot of people are on board with the use of CBD or THC products for health and wellbeing, but I've been trying out a few products as stated in a previous post. I am still trying to figure out the best one for my anxiety and panic attacks, but I do like the CBD creams and the Beaucoup edibles, so far.
(More on this later, as I try more products)
Have a nice weekend.
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